15 Questions You Could Ask a Person Living With Dementia Over the Phone

This article is republished with permission from LifeBio.

Talking with a person living with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia over the phone can feel challenging at first. Without the visual cues we naturally rely on – warm smiles, familiar gestures, shared surroundings – it’s easy to wonder what to say or how to keep the conversation going.

But phone calls can still be deeply meaningful. Your voice, your presence, and even simple stories from your day can spark comfort and conversation. The key is to shift your expectations and approach the call with curiosity, patience and warmth.

Communication Strategies for Connecting with Someone Living with Dementia

These two gentle strategies can make phone conversations easier and more enjoyable for both of you:

• Share your own story or memory first.
  A person living with dementia may find it easier to respond to something concrete you offer. Use small details - sights, sounds or moments from today - to give them something to connect with. 
• Don't worry about exact details.
  Focus on the joy of the story, not whether every fact is perfect.

Phone Friendly Questions to Ask a Loved One Living with Dementia

Keeping in mind the two strategies, here are 15 questions designed to help conversations flow more naturally with someone living with dementia:

1. When I was a little kid, we would always go to __________ with my friends. I used to ride my bike a lot. Did you like riding a bike?

2. Did your car or truck ever breakdown? What happened? I’ll tell you, one time this happened to me….

3. My grandmother made the best __________ (kind of food). Do you like this too? Was your grandmother a good cook? How ‘bout your mom or dad?  (Food is always a good topic!)

4. I played __________ (sport) in school. Did you like to play that sport too?

5. I remember being on a farm when I was a kid. We had __________ (animals, crops). I liked the farm. Were you ever on a farm?

6. I used to go shopping at __________ (store). Did you ever go shopping there? The other day I went to the store and I bought __________....

7. My pet __________ is sitting right here. Do you know what color he is? __________. Do you have a pet? I had a pet __________, named __________, when I was little. He used to run away all the time….

8. What’s one of your favorite things to do at the center? Is it when there is music, or do you like the crafts better? Do you have a favorite song? Do you have a favorite craft?

9. One time I went on an airplane. I went to __________. Have you done a lot of traveling? Do you like to travel? (Maybe they will share about a work trip or a vacation.)

10. I haven’t asked you about your work before. Can you tell me about your work at __________?  (Hopefully you know something about the kind of work he/she did at home, volunteer, and/or paid employment).

11. I know you love your kids and grandkids. I thought I would tell you a funny story about my son/daughter. Back in 1977....

12. One of my favorite movies is __________. Have you seen it? Do you like that one? I like how there is that funny part….

13. I got the newspaper this morning. It reminded me that I used to deliver the newspaper. Did you ever do that?….

14. I am wondering if you’d ever like to travel to outer space. I think it would be scary. How about you?

15. I’m looking out my window. I see some tulips out there, and I also see…. What do you see?

Phone calls don't have to be perfect to be meaningful. What matters most is the reassurance, connection and moments of joy you offer simply by calling. Even a short call can brighten someone's day, spark a memory or remind them you care.

If you'd like more ideas of supporting someone living with dementia, explore additional Waypoints materials for guides and encouragement. If you're interested in how PSL support individuals and families through memory care, we invite you to learn more about our programs and services.